I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize