my vag is so smooth its legendary
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
