She is in my trunk
I could make wine with my vomit
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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