i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
