let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
love makes seman taste better
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
