I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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