I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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