so explain again why im purple
no
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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