I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
