OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
false alarm, still single
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