i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
