trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
