I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
