TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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