Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
