We won't sleep together?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
