yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
