Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
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You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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