Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
