sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
