Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm always down for nudity.
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