normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
