Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
