no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
