i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
