Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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