I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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