By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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