just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The adults are the big ones right?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize