I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
