Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
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