no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
