Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize