Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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