So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I can feel your judgement through the phone
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
