I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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