so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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