ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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