I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
