there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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