My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
