stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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