Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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