Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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