hell yes lets make some ravioli
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Mom said you looked used
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
