shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
