i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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