Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
