get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
