He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
