Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
