We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
