you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
