Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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