I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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