ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize