you guys were way drunker than both of me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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