Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
