there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
