my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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