he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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