First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
