I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
